Cloud had gone
by JessyNick
Summary: A songfic of Dido Songs, Cloud left Tifa without giving her a clue. Could he be with Elena as she thinks? Could something be wrong? Tifa goes to find out. Read and review please!
1. My Lover's Gone

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7 or Dido's "My lovers gone." If you haven't heard it you should, it's a very good song.  
~Jess~  
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Cloud had gone. Tifa did not know where, there was something that was bothering him before he left. Tifa noticed it, but Cloud would just say not to worry about it, or that he couldn't tell her. Now he was gone. Tifa wanted to help him in whatever way she could, she would do anything for him, and all he had to do was ask. Feeling that way was new to Tifa, she never really cared much for the people she knew. Except for her friends that helped her save the Planet. She never cared much for the patrons at her bar, always saying rude things, looking at her like she was an object. But Cloud had helped her forget all that, he was different.  
  
Tifa wandered about the street, aimlessly, as though she didn't have a purpose. Her mind wandered, all she could think about was Cloud, what was Cloud doing? What had happened to make him leave? When would he come back? Thoughts like a storm raced through her mind... What if he didn't come back? She stopped in her tracks... no he'd come back, he'd have too, so they could be together, to live in the world together that they as a team helped save.   
  
"Oh Cloud where are you!? Please someone just tell me where Cloud is!" Tifa felt like the storm was consuming her; she sighed. There was nothing that she could do, except wait for his return. Or what for any sign of Cloud, a letter, a phone call, something, anything to stop her troubled thoughts.  
  
My lover's gone,   
his boots no longer by my door,   
  
That night in bed Tifa had a hard time sleeping, the bed felt so empty. Once it held both of them together in the bed, now it was just her. She turned over to his side of the bed, he was no longer there. He had left while she was sleeping.  
  
he left at dawn,   
and as I slept I felt him go  
Returns no more,   
  
What could have driven him away? Life was so sweet. They cared for each other so much, talking about things when there was something wrong, trying to help him even if she didn't help much. She turned away from his side of the bed, she kept picturing him, sleeping there, his spikey hair sometimes poking her while she slept, a reminder that he was there. Now there was nothing poking her, just a pillow. She got up, she couldn't sleep, and she needed to be somewhere else.  
  
She walked down by the harbor, she saw two teenagers flicking rocks in the water. Then they splashed each other and chased each other across the beach. She looked at the ocean, so calm and peaceful, much unlike the storm in her mind, and again felt the feeling that she had to leave.  
  
I will not watch the ocean,   
my lover's gone,   
  
She heard people preparing, preparing for a ship to come in from the sea, all the way from the other continent. The ship that once carried them together... How silly Cloud looked in that uniform... She watched the ship pull in, anticipating that maybe... maybe...... her Cloud could be on there. People flocked off the boat, and almost everyone had families to greet them. Such happy families reunited. She watched until no one else got off the ship. All the families had cleared off the street, and again she was consumed in the emptiness.   
  
no earthly ships will ever  
Bring him home again,   
bring him home again  
My lover's gone,  
  
She walked by an old restaurant that her and Cloud used to love. They'd go there once a week, they had become great friends with the chef there. She saw a couple at their table. The one next to the window, it was a great place away from all the other tables. He looked so handsome in the candlelight, they had spent many times kissing in that little booth by the window, sharing wine, talking about anything they pleased.  
  
I know that kiss will be my last,   
no more his song,   
the tune upon his lips has passed  
  
Walking back to their home, she remembered that Elena had been over her house quite frequently before he left. Elena and Cloud had become great friends, and sometimes Tifa felt their relationship being threatened. Even though Elena was very kind to both of them. If they got into a fight, she would try to fix it. She hadn't been around that much before Cloud left... What could it mean?  
  
Perhaps Elena had turned back to her old ways. Back to Reno, Rude, and Tseng, all of them to do evil things again. Maybe they had captured another ancient, like they did Aeris, and were trying to get to the Promised Land again. If she had become a Turk again, that would have hurt Cloud deeply, but enough for Cloud to disappear?   
  
Walking back past the ocean, Tifa looked out at it again. Feeling a sense of longing for her Cloud. Missing his smiles, his laughter, they way he would hold her, missing the way he would look into her eyes and not say a word, just missing Cloud, missing him being there, and not knowing what to do. She started trying to calm herself by humming.  
  
I sing alone,   
while I watch the ocean,   
  
She sighed as she saw the same ship she had watched earlier depart. All the people on the ship, waving to their families and friends. She just wished that Cloud could have told her before he left, why? Was Cloud sick of her, did he want to be with another? Would he ever return? She watched with these questions in her mind until she ship was gone from the horizon.  
  
my lover's gone,   
no earthly ships will ever Bring him home again,   
bring him home again 


	2. Honestly OK

Hey, I've decided to continue this story with more songfic chapters from Dido's CD. This chapter's song is Honestly OK.  
~Jess~  
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I just want to feel safe in my own skin,  
I just want to be happy again  
I just want to feel deep in my own world  
But I'm so lonely   
I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
  
Tifa walked down the street. She was sick of being so bored and lonely. Her house was filled with the memories of Cloud. She had pictures everywhere; pictures of her and him happy together. Earlier she had picked up one, and slowly with her finger, touched the face in the picture. She needed to be out of her house, and decided to go visit Barret to see if he had found anything out, about Cloud's whereabouts, or anything. Why he left and to do what? All of her questions she needed answered and she hoped she would find someone out there who could answer them.  
  
On a different day,   
if I was safe in my own skin,   
then I wouldn't feel lost and  
so frightened  
  
She was walking in the bad part of town. The streets were so dark, and she saw cold eyes stare at her as she walked down the street. It was so cold there, she shivered and then tried to stop herself by hugging her sides. Cloud had always warned her about this neighborhood, but she never had to worry about it because he would be there by her side. He would protect her with his large sword that seemed to scare anyone who would fool with Cloud and Tifa. But he wasn't there with her today.  
  
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin   
And I'm so lonely   
  
Finally, passing the cold stares and dirty neighborhoods, Tifa reached Barret's house, and let herself in. She found Barret sitting on his chair, reading the newspaper. He looked up at her with questioning eyes. Seeing how the ruby eyes that Tifa had once held, had now turned brown. She slowly made her way over to a chair across from Barret, with her eyes still locked with his.   
  
"Barret, I was wondering if you've heard anything about Cloud. I miss him terribly. I don't know what to do with myself. I've been home for a week, moping around the house, waiting for him to come back. I don't know if he's going to. I don't even know if he's alright! I don't know anything and its killing me! What could have happened to him to make him leave!? Barret..." Tifa started crying and Barret ran over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "I just want Cloud to come back, I just want everything to be alright. I want to be happy again Barret, please tell me you know something that can help me out." Her eyes silently pleaded with Barret to help her.   
  
I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
I just want to feel safe in my own skin,   
I just want to be happy again.   
  
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Was this chapter any good? I'm feeling kind of like this right now. But if you like these songs, you should get Dido's CD.  
~Jess~ 


	3. Don't think of me

Hey, this song is "Don't think of me" by Dido.  
~Jess~  
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Barret looked into Tifa's eyes, and said some of the words she wanted to hear. "Tifa, I know where he is..." He pretended to cough, and broke his eye contact with Tifa. Then he continued, "He's with Elena, and I saw Tseng there last night."   
  
Tifa got up and ran out of the door as fast as her legs could carry. She didn't want to hear anymore of Barret's story about Cloud being with Elena, she couldn't face it. She heard Barret calling after her as she ran and wondered why he didn't bother to try and catch her. Always had been a good runner... she thought to herself. Then she got back to her home that had kept her away from the world for the past weeks. She started to think of all that Elena had to offer to a man, and why Cloud might have wanted Elena over Tifa.  
  
So you're with her, and not with me, I hope she's sweet, and so pretty  
I hear she cooks delightfully, a little angel beside you  
So you're with her, and not with me, oh how lucky one man can be  
I hear your house is smart and clean, oh how lovely with your homecoming  
queen  
Oh how lovely it must be  
  
Does he take pleasure in thinking of me? Does he enjoy the fact of hurting someone like that so much? Tifa sighed. A question was answered, and yet more questions were aroused. The storm in her mind grew. Throwing herself on the bed she imagined what a perfect life Cloud and Elena had. A white fence and a freshly trimmed lawn. Cloud coming home from a job and Elena rushing out to greet him. Then Elena throws herself on him and they share a hug and a kiss. Tifa tossed and turned, if Cloud did take pleasure in hurting her, she wished he wouldn't think of her.  
  
When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me  
When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me  
  
Tifa started imagining Elena hurting Cloud by her loving another. Hoping it wouldn't hurt him too much, she pictured Tseng leaving Elena's house after sleeping with her. Thinking of Cloud's beautiful face when he found out that Elena had cheated on him. If someone told him how Tseng left her house at such a late hour. Tifa began to think of all these horrible things that Elena could do and hurt her poor Cloud. "Cloud I would never hurt you like that," Tifa said aloud.  
  
So you're with her, and not with me, I know she spreads sweet honey  
In fact your best friend, I heard he spent last night with her  
Now how do you feel  
When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me  
When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me  
  
Then she thought of Cloud coming back to Tifa, with flowers for her. She thought of him telling her how stupid he was for leaving her, and how he would plead for Tifa to take him back. Tifa knew that she wasn't strong without Cloud, but she would have to make him feel badly about what he did to her. How he had cheated on her with Elena. She would make him regret what he did, she would make him sleep on the couch, and wear all those clothes that Cloud didn't want her to wear because of how they showed off her body. She'd tell him that it was too late to apologize and everything else, but she knew she would take him back. She still loved him and she knew he still loved her, and if they had that, then they would have everything.   
  
And it's too late and it's too bad, don't think of me  
Oh it's too late and it's too bad, don't think of me  
Does it bother you now all the mess I made  
Does it bother you now the clothes you told me not to wear  
Does it bother you now all the angry games we played  
Does it bother you now when I'm not there  
  
Did he miss her? Or was it just wishful thinking? Or was Cloud only thinking of Elena? Did they have the same affection for each other as Cloud and Tifa? Tifa decided something that night as she sat and imagined Cloud and Elena so happy together, that she would do anything to get him back. Was he missing her? Was he there against his will? Why hadn't he told her anything! Tifa fell to a light sleep that night, thinking of Cloud and Elena, running through fields and having picnics, kissing playfully... The next morning Tifa woke up and her pillow was wet with tears, as her face was stained with them. "Oh Cloud, I hope your not taking pleasure in this..." she said to herself sitting on her bed, with all her nightmares.   
  
When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me  
When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me  
And It's too late and it's too bad, don't think of me  
Oh it's too late, oh it's too bad, don't think of me.  
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Don't worry its gonna get better, I'm just having a little trouble writing this.  
~Jess~ 


	4. Hunter

This next song is Hunter by Dido, I absolutely love this song and I hope I can fit it right. Personally, I only like the first chapter of this story, but I wanted to finish this story. I do not own these songs, Dido, or Final Fantasy.  
~Jess~  
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Tifa walked back to Barret's with determination. She knew what had to be done, find Cloud and answer her questions. Now all she needed to know was where Cloud was, and she would get Barret to tell her. The rain that had soaked her made her shiver as she approached Barret's house. It looked so dark in the rain and she noticed that the light was on in Barret's room on the second story. She opened the front door with the key she had for emergencies only and let herself in the house. She pictured the surprised look on Barret's face when she would open the door to his room at such a late hour, dripping from the rain.   
  
With one light on in one room, I know you're up when I get home  
With one small step upon the stair, I know your look when I get there  
  
She slowly and quietly tried to ascend the stairs without making too much noise, the stairs creaked a little and Tifa had to stop and look quickly at the closed door at the top of the stairs to Barret's room. Finally, after climbing up all the creaky stairs, she reached the top stair and slowly opened the noisy door to Barret's room. Her stealthiness had been for nothing, Barret was awake and sitting quietly in his chair watching the television. He looked up at her and seemed happy to see her.   
  
If you were a king up there on your throne, would you be wise enough to let  
me go  
  
"Tifa, you ran out before I could explain. He's not with Elena in a relationship sort of way. He's just there with her, I don't know what he's doing there or why but that's all I know."  
  
Tifa sighed, it seemed as though she had been holding that breathe since the day before. Barret had just lifted all of her fears away with him finally telling her what she longed to hear. How silly she felt for running away the day prior, and for dreaming up all those silly nightmares. Finally she smiled and said, "Barret, I need to ask you something, how do you get there? You know to get where they are?"  
  
For this queen you think you own  
Wants to be a Hunter again, wants to see the world alone again  
To take a chance on life again, so let me go.  
  
Barret stared long and hard into Tifa's face. Feeling her eyes pleading with him to tell her the whereabouts of her lover. Keeping such information to himself would only make him feel worse than he already did when he frightened Tifa. Tifa the sweet girl that had watched his Marlene when he needed her to, who was always there for him. But he didn't want to put her into any danger, he didn't want her to get hurt by telling her where Cloud was. Her eyes begged him though, how could he say no to those ruby eyes?  
  
The unread book and painful look, the TV's on, the sound is down  
One long pause, then you begin, oh look what the cat's bought in  
  
He sighed, "But Tifa, what if you get hurt? That wouldn't be good for any of us. What about me, Marlene, Cloud even you!? Its dangerous!"  
  
"But Barret, it's been so long since I've been on an adventure! I need it! If I could do anything to save Cloud I would! It's like you and Marlene, you'd do anything for her!"  
  
If you were a king up there on your throne, would you be wise enough to let  
me go  
For this queen you think you own  
Wants to be a hunter again, wants to see the world alone again  
To take a chance on life again, so let me go, let me leave  
  
"Marlene can't defend herself, Tifa. Cloud can, Cloud's a strong man. Don't go comparing things that aren't the same."  
  
Tifa got upset, "And what about me, Barret? Am I defenseless? Do you believe that I'm defenseless!?"  
  
Barret sighed, he didn't mean to get Tifa so upset, "That's not what I meant Tifa," he paused, "Alright you win, I'll tell you where Cloud is, but don't get killed over it please Tifa, I beg you."  
  
For the crown you've placed upon my head feels too heavy now  
And I don't know what to say to you but I'll smile anyhow  
  
She hugged Barret as he was still sitting in his chair. Tifa thought to herself about her new adventure, it made her feel uplifted. She was going to be on her way to find Cloud, and she also would be able to go on an adventure. Although she had never been on an adventure without Cloud before, she could try it. It would be a little different for her, but it also intrigued her. Nothing too bad could happen now, Sephiroth was dead and that needn't worry her. All the animals that terrorized the fields of the world were gone now. All she had to worry about was people, and maybe they were the deadliest of all. But that didn't worry Tifa, all she wanted was to find Cloud. It was all she needed.   
  
And all the time I'm thinking, thinking  
I want to be a hunter again, want to see the world alone again  
To take a chance on life again, so let me go.  
  
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So how'd you like it? Please please please review! I'll start reviewing for you if you do for me!!!! As I said, I only kinda like the first chapter. But I wanted to finish it. And SORRY for anyone whose been looking forward to this, if there are any. I haven't been able to update, you know school starting and stuff. But please REVIEW!!!!  
~Jess~ 


	5. I'm no Angel

This next song is I'm No Angel, by....DIDO! How'd you guess? I dunno, there's something about her songs I really enjoy. Please r/r and I'll do the same for you!  
~Jess~  
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"Goodbye Barret, thank you so much," Tifa said, hugging him again before her departure.  
  
"Tifa, please be careful. You are going to make me worry so much when you are gone."  
  
"Just spend the extra time with Marlene. Goodbye Barret." Tifa stepped off the step of his house and into her adventure. Barret had equipped her with many new weapons, and she also now had many different potions. She felt so much different now, she had a mission, she had a goal. Not just sitting around the house moping, awaiting Cloud's arrival. Doing something to get her love, no, her life back on track.  
  
She turned around suddenly when she heard a call behind her, "Smile for me Tifa!" Barret said waving from the step.  
  
If you gave me just a coin for every time we say goodbye  
Well I'd be rich beyond my dreams, I'm sorry for my weary life  
I know I'm not perfect but I can smile  
  
Turning around she gave him a big smile, waved, then turning back to her mission. When she and Cloud had been moving around from place to place, trying to figure out what was best for them, she often had to say goodbye to Barret and Marlene. It was early now, and she decided not to wake Marlene, but gave instructions to Barret about telling her mission. She was off to save her love, perhaps from some evil force, or maybe himself.   
  
Traveling to the outskirts, she passed by many people. Children playing together, homeless men begging for anything anyone could spare, those greedy eyes staring at her from places she could not see. When night fell upon her, she hurriedly made her way to the Inn. The Inn had a sign that stated that it had no vacancies. Her heart sank when she saw it, but she decided to try anyway. She was too tired to go on.  
  
Her breathe lagged as she walked into the house, all eyes were drawn to her when she walked through the door. "I'm sorry for coming in so late, I was wondering if I could stay the night? It's awful dark outside. I don't want to be outside all night if I don't have to."  
  
And I hope that you see this heart behind my tired eyes  
If you tell me that I can't, I will, I will, I'll try all night  
  
"Why don't you just go back to your home? You look exhausted, you need to be in your own bed."  
  
And If I say I'm coming home, I'll probably be out all night  
I know I can be afraid but I'm alive  
And I hope that you trust this heart behind my tired eyes  
  
Tifa looked up at him with her tired eyes. She hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, thinking about her adventure before she left. Insomnia, in praying that nothing would happen to her or her Cloud. Praying that something vital would not have been forgotten in her quick decision to leave. If she had to, she would travel all night, she'd travel for days for Cloud.   
  
Slowly she turned to leave, but was stopped when she heard, "Sure you can stay, come you can have the couch."  
  
Tifa turned and thanked the man, set her pack down on the ground next to the couch and sat down on it. "Thank you very much kind sir. If you want me to, I can make you breakfast tomorrow, in return for this kindness."  
  
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try and try  
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I can't live my life  
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry  
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly  
  
"Girl, you are very kind. Don't worry about it, get as much sleep as you like. May I ask what you are traveling for?"  
  
"Love, I'm going to find my boyfriend, I feel as though he needs my help." Tifa sort of blushed, she never thought she'd hear herself say those words again. She never thought Cloud would need her help so badly again, at least she thought he needed her help. What if he didn't, she scolded herself mentally, of course Cloud wanted her help, they had a deep connection. It was almost like the time when she helped him in the lifestream, always willing to help him.  
  
I know I'm not around each night   
And I know I always think I'm right  
I can believe that you might look around  
  
"That is very noble of you, you must care about him deeply. You must be his angel."  
  
Tifa shook her head, "No, he's my angel. He's saved me in many ways I haven't noticed until he left. But I'm going to bring him back, I need him back."  
  
The Innskeeper smiled at her, and nodded. As she yawned he said to her, "Well I'm going to be leaving you be now, Tifa was it?" He continued after she nodded, "Have a nice rest, you'll need it to find that man of yours."  
  
Tifa thanked the man again and easily layed herself down. Sleep came to her quickly, it covered her body as she lay comfortably underneath the covers that warmed her. Her dreams were filled with Cloud, he was acting like he always did, happy to see her, full of joy and hugs just for her. Not wanting to be pulled from her nice sleep, the Innkeepers pots and pans rattling awakened her.   
  
Stretching she woke up from her comforting sleep. She got all her things together and went over to the table and ate the breakfast he had so eagerly prepared for her and the other guests. They all ate quietly together, and before long Tifa felt the calling of her journey, she had to leave right away. Continously thanking the Innskeeper, Tifa began her journey early. The sun had just began to rise over the horizon and light the path to her hope. She waved and smiled for the Innskeeper, then began her journey.  
  
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try and try  
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I can't live my life  
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry  
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly.  
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Hey, another chapter finished! Please read and review and I'll do the same for you!!  
~Jess~ 


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